Seth Saunders Inspirational, Learning, Value

CTRL+ALT+DELETE in order to Move Forward

CTRL+ALT+DELETE in order to Move Forward

There is a quote that has taken many forms that goes “what you become is more important than what you accomplish.” This particular quote is credited simply to Anonymous. When it comes to addiction, the impacts can be far reaching. All too often addiction is looked at as something which only impacts the actual person but the reality is, there are direct and indirect impacts all around.

Ironically, the person who is dealing with the addiction can only make real, lasting change once they come the realization that their actions impact more than just themselves.

There is no easy way out of addiction. It is not a one-time event but rather a process of many steps. This process can take longer for others and for many, it will be a life-long process. The process is often bumpy, emotional and hard. To overcome an addiction of any type is awesome, it should be recognized as an accomplishment but as the quote stated, it is really who we become that means the most. This applies to the individual and all those who may have been impacted by the addiction.

Those who have struggled with addiction and eventually found the strength, motivation and drive to overcome this terrible trial must never forget that those who were there to support them will need to make a fresh start as well. See they have been living the pain, sorrow, sadness and emotional ups and downs with the addicted. The ability to make a fresh start is not only important, it is necessary. Just like with our computers, when a program freezes we hit the keys CTRL+ALT+DEL to bring up the Task Manager. At this point we can see the program is Not Responding. We now have the choice to shut down the program and we do so, we are asked if we would like to start it again. So it is with all those who have seen the influence of addiction impact their lives, there comes a time for a CTRL+ALT+DEL.

The fresh start really revolves around the concept of becoming. It is about who we can and should become. That process is one that can be filled with excitement, empowerment, love and hope. As we focus on who we become whether we are the recovering addict or a loved one, we will quickly realize all the good our life has to offer. We will see are desire to want to help others increase; we will see our ability to love others grow and maybe most importantly, we will see in ourselves the ability to become great.

President Thomas S. Monson has stated, “Sometimes we let our thoughts of tomorrow take up too much of today. Daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. This is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it.”[1] What a wonderful reminder about the need for a fresh start and the importance of focusing on today. That focus on becoming who we want to become is a daily task.

The battle with any addiction is real; it is real for all involved. The influence and impact of both the individual who is working towards recovery as well as those who are there supporting is substantial. This is true whether it is during the addiction, throughout the recovery process or after the official recovery process and a new life has begun. We can never underestimate the importance of recognizing the need for one another. That fresh start that all who have or are dealing with addiction comes by replacing the following:

  • Pride with humility
  • Excuses with empowerment
  • Anger with love
  • Selfishness with Self-awareness
  • Pain with Peace

It won’t be easy but it seems that the majority of the things that bring us the greatest happiness and feeling of accomplishment take effort. Whether you maybe the recovering addict or part of the support team of a recovering addict, know that a fresh start is necessary and will bring new hope. It will bring with it the desire to focus on who you can become. Let the lessons you learn be ones that allow you to reach your full potential. You can do it.

You are a HERO!

[1] “In Search of Treasure,” Ensign, May 2003, 20.

Seth Saunders Leadership, Learning, Value

Are you living in your reality?

How often do you want to change something? Maybe it’s your career, profession, location, the situation at work, etc?

Now, how much time to spend thinking about all the things that are wrong with your situation or reality? What about spending time thinking about how much better xyz would be? 

The only way to truly change one’s reality is a willingness to actually live in their reality. This is much easier said than done. Why? Because it is much easier to think about the perfect situation rather than take the time and action necessary to create that new reality.

I have seen this many times in my professional career. I have watched executives who think they are leading in an effective manner, they often talk about their successes and maybe even their failures but yet they are disconnected to the reality around them. Employees listen but struggle to embrace what is being shared. They feel such a disconnect, lack of transparency, and communication it is very difficult to listen to and believe this executive. Statements such as “if he/she only knew what was really happening or what employees are really saying they would be shocked”.

When a leader is not living and/or understanding their current reality, they can cause both direct and collateral damage that can cost the company in a variety of negative ways. From a loss in revenue, confidence, respect, and trust to a complete deterioration of company culture, the lasting impact of leaders who are not grounded in their true reality can be felt for years.

When we have the courage to live in our reality we give ourselves the greatest chance to change it. Taking control of one’s future is all about taking control of their current reality. Although it will often be a challenge, taking control of where you want your life to go can be one of the most rewarding, empowering, and impactful actions we can take.

So how can we check to be sure we are living in our reality, here are some ways to know:

Value Your Time. Spend your time creating an actionable strategy for where you want to go. Stop spending time complaining about where you are. Stop telling others how frustrated you are with your boss, and colleagues and how “unqualified” they are for the position they are in. Control what you can control l. For the most part, you decide how you use your time. If you value time, then start taking back control of it. Prioritize what matters most, both personally and professionally. If you want your reality to change, time is one of your most important assets, value it.

Respect Is A Two-way Street. How can you expect others to respect you and your experience if you do not first have respect for yourself and second others? One of the most impactful ways to demonstrate you have respect for yourself is by understanding the reality you are in. Always be sure you are performing at the highest level of what you are paid/asked to do. It makes it very difficult for others to show respect for someone who spends their time complaining, gossiping, and disrespecting others when they are not fulfilling their own duties. Let your actions speak and your words support. 

Own It. When you truly take responsibility and accountability for your reality, you own it. When you own it, you can change it. No longer are you blaming others, focused on what others aren’t doing, and being disconnected from what your reality is. You create a plan with realistic goals and actions that can lead you to the reality you want for yourself. Understanding the power and empowerment that comes from owning our situation is crucial in creating the reality you want. Do not underestimate the need to take ownership of your reality.

As one who has fallen into the trap of focusing on others’ reality, I have tried to learn from those times to actually improve my own personal reality. It has not always worked out how I planned but I did learn. As I have gotten older and further down the road in my professional career, I have to regularly check myself to ensure I don’t lose sight of my own current reality. I am grateful for those around me who have helped me focus on what I can control in an effort to improve my future.

Seth Saunders Inspirational, Learning, Value

A Realization About Life

I have tried most of my life to be positive, happy and optimistic. I was taught the importance of being kind, caring and respectful by my parents, siblings, leaders and teachers. I learned the value of hard work and that failure does not mean the end. I have felt victory, triumph, as well as loss and defeat. I am blessed to have been taught that emotions are real and it’s okay to be emotional.

I have tried to be a good friend, loving husband, father, son, uncle and human. I have missed the mark on many occasions. I have offended people by word and/or action for which I am sorry. I have let people down. I have tried to always comfort those who need it. I strive to live what I believe but still have a ways to go.

With all that said, I have come to a very real and unapologetic realization, mental health matters.

Now, by no means is the a new topic but because it has really played quite a role in my personal life over the past while, I have felt the need to share my reality.

I have found that depression is so powerful and influential in ones life. What was once a life of that I assumed was simply a rollercoaster of emotions was identified as anxiety. Sure, I felt labeled at first but then got comfortable with my reality. Upon becoming with my new normal, something more was about to hit me head on. I did not realize nor was I really prepared for depression to be a part of my life.

I remember taking one of those assessments to see if you are depressed. The doctor looked at my report and said, “interesting, based on these results, you are one happy person.” So you can imagine my feelings as I came to an understanding of my depression. Every emotion from hurt, pain, loneliness, anger, frustration and sadness. Why? Probably because my initial human instincts was that I was damaged goods and people would look at me in way that was not, well good.

In truth, depression is not about an individual feeling broken, it’s about an individual having a breakthrough. Being honest about how you feel is not a weakness, it is a blessing and a strength. For me I continue to struggle with so much of what is associated with depression. I have some pretty down days. I have feelings of falling short of my potential, minimal motivation to do things, sadness, loneliness among other emotions. Trust me, it’s not fun. But I am learning more and more on how to manage my emotions. This often comes by observing others who are dealing with similar mental health challenges.

As I look back on my life and all the things I have done, the jobs I have had, the places I have traveled, the knowledge I have gained, the one thing that has helped me make it through tough days are thinking about the people.

The students I taught, the players I coached, the people I hired, the leaders I developed, the leaders who taught me. I miss these people. It is something I have struggled with my entire life. I get attached to the people because I genuinely love and care about them. They have brought so much good into my life. But ironically, there are times I feel as though I did not do enough for those around me, care enough, teach enough, and those thoughts start me down a path I don’t enjoy. I can only control what lies ahead, not what is behind.

I find so much joy and happiness helping and serving others. I love listening to others so they know I care. I know there are many amazing people in my life but that can be difficult to realize when you are dealing with depression. I have never wanted to feel like a burden on others, which doesn’t help with feelings associated with depression.

So the big realization in my life is this, I am human. I will continue to press forward with determination and resolve. I will keep my head up and when it falls, I will muster the strength to lift my head again. I will never stop my love and caring for others. I will continue to find time to do those things I enjoy. I will not allow depression to be something that defines me or how I live.

I share this not for a “whoa is me” but rather a “this is me.” I extend my deepest love, empathy and support to all those who struggle with mental health. You are awesome. You are cared about. Even though you may not feel or see it, there are people in your life who love you and want to be there for you. Let them in. It has been one of the hardest things for me but I can see how it will help in so many good ways.

Finally, the world we currently live in is broken in so many ways. This is feeding into the stereo typing, labeling and judging when it comes to mental health. People are using it as a weapon. We cannot allow that to happen. We must replace the world of negativity and fear with compassion and care. Never pass up an opportunity to ask how someone is doing. You may never know how much it means but trust me, it can be a life changer.

We can do this, we are all heroes!