Seth Saunders Leadership, Learning, Value

Are you living in your reality?

How often do you want to change something? Maybe it’s your career, profession, location, the situation at work, etc?

Now, how much time to spend thinking about all the things that are wrong with your situation or reality? What about spending time thinking about how much better xyz would be? 

The only way to truly change one’s reality is a willingness to actually live in their reality. This is much easier said than done. Why? Because it is much easier to think about the perfect situation rather than take the time and action necessary to create that new reality.

I have seen this many times in my professional career. I have watched executives who think they are leading in an effective manner, they often talk about their successes and maybe even their failures but yet they are disconnected to the reality around them. Employees listen but struggle to embrace what is being shared. They feel such a disconnect, lack of transparency, and communication it is very difficult to listen to and believe this executive. Statements such as “if he/she only knew what was really happening or what employees are really saying they would be shocked”.

When a leader is not living and/or understanding their current reality, they can cause both direct and collateral damage that can cost the company in a variety of negative ways. From a loss in revenue, confidence, respect, and trust to a complete deterioration of company culture, the lasting impact of leaders who are not grounded in their true reality can be felt for years.

When we have the courage to live in our reality we give ourselves the greatest chance to change it. Taking control of one’s future is all about taking control of their current reality. Although it will often be a challenge, taking control of where you want your life to go can be one of the most rewarding, empowering, and impactful actions we can take.

So how can we check to be sure we are living in our reality, here are some ways to know:

Value Your Time. Spend your time creating an actionable strategy for where you want to go. Stop spending time complaining about where you are. Stop telling others how frustrated you are with your boss, and colleagues and how “unqualified” they are for the position they are in. Control what you can control l. For the most part, you decide how you use your time. If you value time, then start taking back control of it. Prioritize what matters most, both personally and professionally. If you want your reality to change, time is one of your most important assets, value it.

Respect Is A Two-way Street. How can you expect others to respect you and your experience if you do not first have respect for yourself and second others? One of the most impactful ways to demonstrate you have respect for yourself is by understanding the reality you are in. Always be sure you are performing at the highest level of what you are paid/asked to do. It makes it very difficult for others to show respect for someone who spends their time complaining, gossiping, and disrespecting others when they are not fulfilling their own duties. Let your actions speak and your words support. 

Own It. When you truly take responsibility and accountability for your reality, you own it. When you own it, you can change it. No longer are you blaming others, focused on what others aren’t doing, and being disconnected from what your reality is. You create a plan with realistic goals and actions that can lead you to the reality you want for yourself. Understanding the power and empowerment that comes from owning our situation is crucial in creating the reality you want. Do not underestimate the need to take ownership of your reality.

As one who has fallen into the trap of focusing on others’ reality, I have tried to learn from those times to actually improve my own personal reality. It has not always worked out how I planned but I did learn. As I have gotten older and further down the road in my professional career, I have to regularly check myself to ensure I don’t lose sight of my own current reality. I am grateful for those around me who have helped me focus on what I can control in an effort to improve my future.

Seth Saunders Leadership, Learning

Overcoming Obstacles

Overcoming Obstacles | Mental Toughness Boot Camp

How do you see obstacles in your life? Do they cause anxiety, depression, frustration, and sadness? If you answered to any of those feelings, congratulations, your human. Now, how do you handle obstacles in your life? I try to run from them, I don’t address them hoping the just go away, I freeze, I find ways to overcome them, I reach out to others to help me, I just give up? Again, if you answered yes to any or all of these, congratulations, you are human.

I have always been a huge Michael Jordan fan and he stated the following:

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

I love how he simply states that obstacles don’t have to stop you. The key is to try and understand how you can overcome the obstacles you will encounter. Here are some thoughts/ideas on you can overcome obstacles:

Acknowledge the obstacle: It is critical that when you encounter an obstacle in your life to acknowledge the obstacle. To to do this you must take a look at how it came into your life, what was the circumstance, what does it involved and who does it involve. Being able to understand these items will give you a feeling of control of the situation. The sooner you can feel like you are in control of the situation, the quicker you can start to think about ways to overcome the obstacle.

Eliminate the noise: If you think about it, when obstacles come in your life one of the main reason for the feelings I mentioned at the beginning of this post enter your life is because you cannot focus on what is happening. This is usually because of the noise that is taking place in your life. In order to address what is going on, you must eliminate the noise. This may be removing yourself from a situation, taking a break from what you are doing to give yourself time to think, doing some type of meditation, whatever works for you to eliminate the noise.

Focus on what you can control: There is no doubt that we all like to be in control. This is especially important when we encounter obstacles. Being in control allows for better clarity of what needs to be done. When you focus on things you can’t control, you only increase your feelings of frustration and this can often lead to feelings of giving up. There will be times when you feel like you cannot control anything but at the end of the day, you can control how you feel. And as is often said, when you control how you feel, you can control how you act. I have often found writing things down helps me understand what I can and cannot control when dealing with an obstacle.

What Is a Growth Mindset? And How Do I Develop It?

Mindset is key: You may or may not have heard about the concept of Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset. Simply put, if you have a Growth Mindset, you embrace challenges and persist in the face of obstacles while on the other hand, if you have a Fixed Mindset, you avoid challenges give up easily when faced with obstacles. As you can quickly see, how you think will impact every aspect of how you act. Thus, it is imperative to have a growth mindset in order to effectively overcome obstacles.

Notice that no where did I say overcoming obstacles in your life is easy, the truth is, its not. However, when you develop what works for you, overcoming obstacles becomes an empowering part of your life. You will find ways to learn more about who you are and what you value in your life. Remember this, developing ways to overcome obstacles is a process. It will not happen overnight.

The fact that you have read this block post means you believe in yourself and want to make good things happen so let me simply say, you’ve got this, you are amazing and there is truly no obstacle you cannot overcome.

Be A Hero